During this season when things have been so dark and we often haven't known how to pray, I have found that my prayer times consist mostly of listening. I set my problems and questions before the Lord and listen. In quietness and confidence, the answers well up in my spirit. Recently, I experienced a dialogue with the Lord which helped me so much that I need to share it for I believe the Lord wants to speak directly to some of you.

"Lord, I am so completely weak and weary."

"Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, does not faint or grow weary; there is no searching of His understanding. He gives power to the faint and weary, and to him who has no might He increases strength." (Is. 40:28 29 AMP)

"Yes Lord, and I know you said in vs. 31 that 'they who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint'. For so long I have waited upon You. Why then am I so weak and weary?"

"My child tell me what you are really waiting upon."

"The healing, revival and the anointing you promised", came my quick reply. I immediately knew why He had asked. Somehow I had confused waiting on Him with waiting on all He had promised. "Oh Lord, what does it mean to wait on you?"

He answered me with a picture: In my mind I saw a waiter serving at a table, watching and responding to those he was serving. The picture was followed by a reminder of the night the Lord had awakened me to pray for a brother. Many Scriptures of encouragement had been given me for this brother. I knew I must write him and told the Lord, "I will write him as soon as you give me the strength." For days, my feet throbbed, my arm and hand were weak. I saw no way I could do it. Soon the intensity of the need to respond lessened.

Now the Lord told me something so important. "Cora, you wanted signs of strength before you would wait on Me. But learn this: Strength comes in waiting upon and serving Me first. The truth is, in serving the brother, you would have been serving Me. If you had done this, I would have provided the strength. Do you see this? Do you still need a sign as when you were young? Do you not yet know that signs follow those who believe? Too many of My children wait for signs before they will serve Me. So many opportunities are lost; so much strength and kingdom power is kept back in heaven for lack of understanding these things."

I promised to write my brother that day no matter how I felt and to immediately obey whatever else God led me to do. I did not sense condemnation from the Lord, just His great desire for me to take to heart this important truth. But I must admit I fell prey to my own self judgment of my weakness and failure. I went on talking to the Lord. "Lord, I know I am so unable to keep this commitment. Fears and doubts overshadow me."

"That is why You must know the One in Whom you trust, that He is able to keep all you commit to Him against that day." (2 Tim. 1:12)

"I present myself to You anew this day though I am so imperfect."

"It is I, the God of peace who presents you blameless in body, soul and spirit, who sanctifies you through and through. 'Faithful is He Who is calling you and utterly trustworthy and He will also do it (fulfill his call by hallowing you and keeping you)'." (I Thess. 5:23 24)

"Oh, how I need Your support Lord. Help me have this trust in You. It is so easy to forget these things and then I feel so forsaken."

"Have I not said I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support? I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let you down or relax My hold on you assuredly not!" (Heb. 13:5 AMP)

"Why then do I feel so empty?"

"I am enlarging your capacity to contain more of Me. See this as an opportunity. But be careful My child. For it is in these emptying times that the enemy of your soul will come and try to fill you with everything that distracts and hinders. The things of this world and the cares of life will always choke My Word. That is why despair and darkness settle in so easily. You must see this and turn them out. For they will tell you I have left you, that you have grieved Me and will do anything they can to get you to allow them in. Turn to Me always look away from self and its failures see Me and wait on Me."

"My health fails, my spirits droop, yet You remains. You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Hallelujah." (Ps. 73:26)

May the Lord Himself speak these words of life deeply to you to whom He is sending them. May they penetrate your spirit and displace the enemy's lies and darkness. May the God of all encouragement enlighten you, give you wisdom, strength and power and fill you with His very own self that you may wait upon Him, daily growing and rising up in Him through the work of His mighty Spirit. How we treasure you.