I am going to share openly God's dealings during our most recent time of trial because I believe He will speak to many of your hearts. I have found myself knowing a lot in my head, but unable to consistently stand because of my heart. To be honest, I've been flattened several times and it's been dark. Sometimes I haven't known what to think of God or what He thinks of me. Because of this, I've lacked confidence before the Lord a very uncomfortable place to be. Seeking desperately to get my bearings, I've immersed myself in Christian TV, teaching tapes and the Bible.

One night, a few weeks ago I was watching Christian TV when suddenly it all became like noise to me. I had to turn it off. In the sudden stillness, I realized God wanted to talk to me. The things I had been doing in my effort to find His voice were actually shutting Him out! Now I'm not saying that all these resources are not good, but they can become a trap, an escape from God
if they begin to take the place of personal communion with Him. If we are unaware, even the Bible can take the place of the Lord Himself as He tells us in John 5:39 40. "You search the Scriptures diligently because you suppose you have eternal life through them. And these very Scriptures testify of Me! And still you are not willing but refuse to come to Me so that you might have life."
There are times when God comes to each of us as He did to His disciples in Matthew 16:13 15. He asked them, "Who do people say that I am?" They answered, Some say you are John the Baptist, others Elijah, and so on. Then the Lord said, "But who do you say that I am?" Peter knew and I believe that is because he was a true seeker and communicator with God. We often laugh at Peter's impulsiveness and analyze his failures, but God loved his seeking heart and because of it Satan singled him out from all the others to sift him like wheat. Of course, Peter had to learn his own frailty and total need for God but through his failures he became one of God's most anointed vessels.

When Jesus broke into my programs and tapes, He seemed to say "Cora, you are hearing some say this and some say that about Me, but what do you say?" I wept before Him. I felt like Job, who finally realized "I had heard of You by the hearing of the ear" and I also wanted to be able to finish with "but now my eyes see you." Job 42:5. In Psalms 34:8, God invites us to taste and see that He is good. The Living Bible says, "Oh, put God to the test and see how kind He is! See for yourself!" We are a people who are called to live by faith, but faith is not an end unto itself. It is meant to be used, not just possessed, to produce a result: the manifestation of unseen things. Our trials, which are for the testing of our faith are for this very purpose.

The night Jesus confronted me, a lot of feelings came pouring out: misunderstandings, hurts, confusion and pain. I've often thought of feelings as bad an enemy to faith. But I saw in that moment that it is not the feelings themselves that are bad, but what we do with them. Hebrews 4:15 tells us Jesus is touched by the feelings of our infirmities. And that is how He came to me inviting me to touch Him with my feelings. What a profound thing this is. For I had tried so hard to conquer them, deny them, or confess them away. But oh the release when I touched Him just as I was. He did not chide me but immediately comforted me and encouraged me with His Truth.

A lot of my questions are still unresolved and unanswered but I have taken Him up on His invitation to put Him to the test and see for myself, in reality and by experience, His great mercy. It's really an invitation to use the faith He's given me to create a channel for God to demonstrate and confirm His Word.

I wrote this because I feel strongly that the Spirit of God is calling many of you to enter in, in new ways, to taste and see that the Lord is good to prove Him for yourself. Perhaps some trial which is now weighing you down is God's invitation to touch the hem of His garment. And so in closing, we pray that you will draw deeply from the wells of salvation and be drawn by God into a deeper communion than you have even known. May your faith be increased as you use it to put your trust in Him. We love you dearly and continue to thank God for you.