We had an outpouring of response to our last letter. Truly God is baptizing His people with fire. Many vessels are being purified while others are holding up their arms in prayer as one precious sister shared God had called her to do. Our prayer is that tested hearts be strengthened to endure and may those who are not being tested be stirred up to uphold the Body in prayer, for surely we are being prepared to come together as Christ's anointed dwelling place.

This month I hesitated to write for truly I have nothing to offer except the reflections of a broken heart. But when I think about it, I am convinced that this too is part of the fire experience. It needs to be told so others who are suffering will know they are not experiencing some strange unusual thing.

Reflections from the Refiner's Fire Further into the Fire

"Father, what is happening to me? Has the the furnace been heated seven times hotter? I was just starting to see you in the fire but now your form is hidden by a flood of emotion and pain that has engulfed me. I long to escape. Day and night my enemies taunt me saying 'where is your God?'

"Oh, Lord, I thought I was standing strong in You that I would never fall into this pit again. Am I still living in my own strength, Father? Oh, teach me to abide; perfect that which concerns me. If I am really honest, I have to admit I am disappointed. Everything is so different than I expected it to be. Oh,
keep me from being offended in You.

"I don't know why, but I am amazed that I still fall so easily that I have no firm and enduring trust. Teach me that I will never have anything of my own ALL must come from you always. Surely no good thing dwells in this flesh.

"The pain overwhelms me and my spirit faints. Not just my own pain, but the pain of the brethren and the pain of the world. I know the Truth but am helpless to reach out unless You endue me with power from on High. I know so much but experience so little. Help me, oh God of my salvation.

"I look around and wonder why is there no prayer of faith in the land, no balm in Gilead, no demonstration of Your power? But even more, why are we not on our faces before You because of it? Oh come, good Shepherd, and find your poor afflicted ones and carry them to safety. From many pulpits they hear, 'peace, peace, all is well' yet go away still broken and captive, hiding behind their smiles wondering if they are all alone. But when they can no longer smile someone will likely pray, 'go in peace and be made whole' but will not offer the true Bread of Life because they have not discerned and wept over Your broken Body. Make us willing to see it Lord and take all falseness from us.

"Oh, Lord, could it be that you are preparing me to pray the prayer of faith to be your Hand extended? Could this pain be Your pain and this cup Your cup? If so, oh help me drink it, Lord. And when the furnace has died down, never let me forget this pain or close my eyes to those in need.

"As the fire grows hotter I do not see Your form but I see myself so clearly. And yet, even though I see what I am, even though I faint and become afraid,
even though I sometimes turn on You in my confusion and probably do many things wrong, somehow deep inside I know my soul has hold of You as never before and that You love me and have not, and never will, forsake me that You are coming to deliver me and all that put their trust in You. Your Word burns like a fire in me and pierces my heart like a sword. It is Your Word that tests me, Lord, not the circumstances. Surely Your Word will endure the fire all else is destined to be consumed.

"So go ahead, Lord. Sit as a refiner remove all the dross. Make a vessel that can truly contain Your glory that can go not in word alone but in the Power of the Holy Ghost for Your Name's sake. Teach me well, Lord. It is terribly important that this pain not be wasted. Amen"

In closing, we pray this chorus for and with all those in the fire:

Fire of God, burn away what is not holy,
Jesus, take our hearts and make them new.
So we might know your glory, so we might see your face,
So we might feel your heartbeat and hear You call our name.

We love you and thank God for your love and continued prayers and support. We could never make it without you.