"Look at the crosses Mom!", Jenny exclaimed as she carried them in and laid them on my bed. "I love these", she enthused, pointing to three or four very colorful ones. The crosses were being presented to our intercessors by an artist from our church who was given a vision of creating 10,000 crosses and giving them away. The details of how they were to be made and the blessing that God promised would accompany them is a whole story in itself which was even featured in the LA Times around Easter time. What immediately caught the eye were the broken ceramic tiles, artistically arranged in all different patterns and colors. These represented man's brokenness which required Christ's breaking on the cross for us. Trish, the artist, said the designs came by inspiration and each one was for a specific person God would lead her to. Most often she knew nothing of the people they would go to and was constantly amazed by the reports of the blessings that came out of them.

Since Trish was a very close friend of Susan, one of our intercessors, she had left the distribution up to her. The group prayed over them, spread them out and chose. Because there were more people here that night than crosses, not everyone would get one this time.

"Did Jenny get a cross?", I asked Jim when he came to check on me. "Yes", he nodded, "but not one of the ones she wanted. As it turned out, all but one cross was chosen", Jim explained. As the lone cross sat there, Susan had suddenly said, "That's Jenny's cross", so she took it. I hoped Jenny wasn't too disappointed. Since Jim had not received one yet I suggested that perhaps next time he could pick a colorful one and then trade with her. Before I went to sleep, Jenny came in with her cross. "So what do you think?", I asked her. "Susan told me she felt all along that this was my cross and had hoped that no one else would take it, so I'm happy with it", she replied, handing it to me. As we looked at it together, we had an awesome revelation. It really was Jenny's cross and, when not surrounded by all of the colorful ones, it was quite beautiful.

The majority of the cross was made up of gray tiles with an almost imperceptible pattern running through them. We saw this as representing Jenny's days not colorful as she would have chosen, but gray and almost monotone as she has followed God's Will in giving up so much of the earthly joys of youth to be with us in our trial. Within the big cross, a small cross made of broken white tiles was deeply embedded. We felt this was a picture of the purifying work of God in her life. Finally, a splash of blue, bright as the sky on a clear day, lay at the center of the white cross a messenger of hope for the future. The beauty of this blue was almost gem like as it was brought out gloriously by the more monotone background. What a picture what a revelation!

Jenny was blessed in recognizing the message of her cross which was so accurately portrayed and the realization that truly she has been faithfully carrying it. For Jesus said, "Whosoever will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me." (Mark 8:34) We both laughed at the thought that we had missed the whole point in wanting to choose our own cross! Then simultaneously we recalled a story in one of our devotional books "Streams in the Desert" (It is the Aug. 29th reading for any of you who may have the book). It told of a weary one who thought her cross was heavier than those of others around her and wished she could choose another. In a dream she saw many crosses set before her. Eagerly she tried on a beautiful jeweled one but found it far too heavy. A lovely flowery one proved to have thorns that pierced her as she picked it up. On she went until at last she saw a plain one with a few words of love written on it. It fit perfectly and as she went away satisfied, her eyes were suddenly opened to recognize it. It was her old cross. Now she understood that God alone knows best what cross we need to bear. We may envy another's cross but we do not know the burden or purpose of God that accompanies it. No, the cross was never meant to be a thing of our own choosing and was not designed to please our flesh but to crucify it and bring out in us all that is needed to do God's will.

Like the woman in the devotional, Jenny has longed for a more colorful cross. Someday she may have one, but with it will come new levels of responsibility that she would not have been prepared for had she not faithfully carried this one. Now when the enemy comes and tries to tell Jenny her life doesn't count, that she's not doing as much as others for the Kingdom, or any other of the countless lies he uses to cast her down, she can point to her cross and say, "This is what God has asked of me and I am doing it". And God will back her up with, "Well done my good and faithful servant". Hallelujah!

Dear ones, are you laboring under some cross you feel is unfair, comparing your life to others, wishing you could choose some other way? I pray God will open your eyes today to see the value of your cross and all the blessings you have by following His plans for you and not those intended for someone else. And may you hear those wonderful words, "Well done" as you yield and pick up your cross and follow Him. We love you and long for God's very best for each and every one of you. Our lives have been an open book to you, making you a very special part of all God has done and will do in and through us with your prayerful and loving support. Thank you.