I have heard many encouraging things in response to the word of my testimony. Thank you all, who took time to read, consider and pray about it. I wish I could personally respond but please know that I appreciate and cherish you in my heart. I believe God is about to answer our cries and show us great and mighty things we know not. (Jer. 33:11) Because of all that is about to happen, I want to pass on some important cautions that the Lord has laid on my heart. This month, I will cover only the first of three. I hope you will save this and add the rest to it when it comes.

In order to be ready, we must be constantly seeking to know Him and not be relying on nor "defining" or limiting God by things, as we now know them (methods, ways He has used us etc.), even though they may have been initiated by Him. First of all, I want to make it plain that we must keep obeying God, doing what He last told us to do until He changes our direction. The danger comes if, when we have a vision for our lives or ministry, the works God does through us become a God replacement. For example, the special gifting that came with the spirit of intercession that worked through me for 5 years, became what I thought was my life calling. Who God was, my relation to Him, my perceived knowledge of Him, all became so intertwined with those gifts that when that season was over and the way God was using me changed, I was very confused, resistant and even disobedient. My work was now to be one of confident endurance by faith and patience to inherit the promises. But, without realizing it, the burden for the Body of Christ, given to me by God, and the resulting works of prayer done through me by the Holy Spirit had become my access to God, my acceptance by God and my means of righteousness before Him! In effect, without those gifts operating, I felt like I had lost my salvation. Therefore I had no joy and the burden became unbearable because I was no longer called to bear it. It took a while to realize that carrying the burden and seeing the results of intercession had become the joy of my salvation instead of Christ.

No wonder Jesus cautioned His disciples in Luke 10:19 20 when they came back rejoicing because the demons were subject to them. It was necessary that their rejoicing be not in power, authority or special gifts but because their names were written in the Lamb's Book of Life. Otherwise, they were in danger of being lured away from true salvation, being easily ensnared by worshipping power instead of the God of power and being left with no deep abiding roots in God's Love to see them through the hard, dark times that were going to come. That's why the apostle Paul's prayers always centered on asking for us to have a deeper more intimate knowledge of, and relationship with God so we could know His Love and joy and fully trust Him in all things. Only then are we truly free to grow and move on with Him.

Dear ones, if your joy is solely linked to the fulfillment of a vision, your work or anything of God other than Himself and His salvation, you will be unable to truly love and worship Him until that thing happens. If you can't worship Him in the darkness or unfulfilling times, He is not the true object of your worship. You are unknowingly in a sneaky, spiritual form of idolatry. Then when He is ready to move you on, perhaps to new and greater things, you will be unable to follow. I have been under personal conviction in this area and am praying much about it.

In closing, let's pray for each other. For those moving right now in special giftings of the Lord, we ask protection from a wrong focus that would take away from God and His salvation or bring resistance to changes God may desire to make. And for those, who like us, are desperately awaiting the new season which is about to come, may we be like Habakkuk and pray, "Though things and people we depended on may have failed us, though we or our loved ones may be sick, hurting or in bondage, though there be no prayer of faith, as yet, in the land and the answers to our prayers have been long delayed, yet will we rejoice in the Lord and exult in the victorious God of our salvation! (Hab. 3:17,18 my paraphrase) "The Lord God is our strength, our personal bravery and invincible army; and will make us to walk [not to stand still in terror] and make spiritual progress upon our high places [of trouble, suffering or responsibility]! (vs. 19 Amp)

A few days after I wrote this letter, I was so down and in so much pain, my closing prayer mocked me. I felt like a hypocrite. I turned to God and asked, "How can I rejoice in You Lord when I am so distressed and overwhelmed with sorrow?". He reminded me of something He taught me years ago which I'd forgotten. Rejoicing in the Lord does not mean gritting your teeth and praising Him anyway. It means coming freely to Him, just as you are, and pouring your heart out to Him as you can to no other. It is a relationship thing, not a performance or formula. He reminded me of how special it is for me when Jenny is hurting so badly she can't even share it with anyone but the minute she walks into my room the tears flow and it all spills out. I don't need and wouldn't want her to stand there and tell me how wonderful I am before she could cry. Because she trusts me with her deepest feelings and finds a haven and release in my presence, she is actually rejoicing in me and exalting me as her mother. Likewise, our Heavenly Father delights in our turning to Him in our deepest distress because we are showing Him that He is our only strength, our only hope and our only salvation no matter what is happening. We are, in effect, rejoicing in Him! As I came to the Lord with no strength, no courage and a sinking heart, He revived me and enabled me to "walk" again in the midst of my pain. Words of praise came afterwards as a result of His comfort. I just had to share this because I know some of you desperately need the freedom to be real with God and to understand that is what He really wants may you also be comforted. May the Lord bless and prepare us all as we anticipate the great things that are to come. We love you and continually thank God for you.