I awoke after only one hour of sleep. My body screamed for attention I had pain almost everywhere and terror gripped me. "This is supernatural", I heard myself say as I began to ring for Jim to come pray for me. But before I could even finish the call, the Holy Spirit spoke plainly to me, "No Cora, this is natural". Startled, my mouth hanging open, I stopped everything to listen to the Lord speak to my heart. I must have been quite a sight for the cloud of witnesses and any angels who might have been present! The Lord gently impressed on me that what I was feeling was what my body is actually going through. He had removed His Hand just a little to show me how great is His shield. My usual state, although certainly not pain free, is what is supernatural.

"Don't remove Your Hand", my heart cried out. I was sure I would die there and then under this painful revelation. The past few days played back in my mind. Oh how I'd complained. I had my whole family angry at God's treatment of me questioning His goodness and faithfulness. "Even if God needs to withhold healing for a time, why does it have to be so bad? Why doesn't He protect me more? How much can I endure? He doesn't even seem to care" on and on I'd gone, letting my soul lash out, soaking in self pity and the pity of my family as they tried to comfort me. But I could not be comforted by man and God could not reach me in that state so He did what He had to. It was a bitter sweet lesson which I badly needed. And as the realization of it sank in, I saw how blinded I'd become to His goodness. I was both amazed and ashamed at the same time. But God was not looking to rebuke me, only to enlighten me so I could receive His help and comfort.

As I looked to Him, slowly each pain eased. I felt like He carried them away as I fell into a wonderful sleep. I am convinced more than ever that I am kept alive supernaturally. In the natural, I am as good as dead. I'm sharing this because God impressed on me that it is imperative for us to know and receive Him as our Shield if we are to stand in this evil day. Sometimes I get so tired and worn out I am sure I can't lift the shield of faith one more time. But I usually discover that what I'm trying to lift isn't the real shield but one of my own making. Sometimes I feel like David did trying to wear Saul's armor it's too big and heavy. David couldn't do anything in it! But he knew he had what he needed God's armor. Did you ever stop and realize that every piece of God's armor is Jesus? Eph. 6:14 17 tells us how the different aspects of his impartation protect us but it is ALL HIM truth, righteousness, salvation, the Gospel of Peace, the Word and faith yes faith too!

Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith (Heb 12:2) but how often do we try to finish it? I know I do. I take on a heavy "shield" of promises and try to hold it up and forget that His faithfulness is my shield (Ps. 91:4). Knowing the promises is important only because of Who the promiser is! But what usually happens is we begin to place our faith in faith itself instead of God. Our eyes get fixed on our battle of the moment, and all the scriptural remedies until we actually lose sight of God Himself. Although the battle is the Lord's, not ours, we desperately take it on. We may even try to wear the armor of another believer. Yet even the weakest believer can look to Jesus and call on His Name. In fact, it is this very weakness that enables us to be clothed in Him alone. And His clothing fits no matter where we are in the Lord. Now I'm not saying we shouldn't know the Word or grow in it we must! But even that can become a fleshly effort if it is not an outgrowth of an increasing personal faith in Him the Living Word.

It's easy to think, "When I just get through this battle, everything will be okay when through faith and patience I finally inherit the promises I will have my reward". Oh yes, we will rejoice when we bear the fruit of faith and patience but we already have our reward it is God Himself! For God is saying to all who believe, just as He did to Abraham in Gen. 15:11, "Fear not... I am your shield and your exceeding great reward". He is your shield dear fainting one. And even as you sit under trials and testings you are already in possession of your reward.

God is speaking right now to some of you. He wants you to look to Him and receive Him as your shield and delight in Him as your reward. You are worn out trying to protect yourself, trying to find some way out, some place of safety. Even though surrounded by many enemies, He wants to give you a settled place right now not when the "victory" comes. For you can have victory now in the midst of your trouble. Very few have seen as much grief as Jeremiah but in his darkest moment he gives us this key in Lam. 3:21 26 (LB), "Yet there is one ray of hope: His compassion never ends. It is only the Lord's mercies that have kept us from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; His lovingkindness begins afresh each day. My soul claims the Lord as my inheritance; therefore I will hope in Him. The Lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for Him, who seek for Him. It is good both to hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."

Now may the Lord Himself cover you, shield you and may you discover the greatness of the reward you already have in Him. And may He deliver you at His perfect moment and fill you with joy now and forevermore. Amen. How we love you and yearn to bring hope and comfort, strength and life to you through Christ's work in us even as you bless us by your love, prayers and support. May we all rejoice together when we see at last all He has done through our partnership.