Thank you for continuing to bless us when we have so little, if anything, to give you. The Lord has put us in a place of much receiving and very little giving which is an extremely uncomfortable place to be for us as humans! We are really struggling with this and I thought it might help if I shared some of my thinking with you. At least you will know another way to pray for us (not that you needed one!) Hope you don't mind "listening in".

Jesus said it "It is more blessed to give than to receive" and how we fight by nature to be the "more blessed"! And when we do receive we tend to have two very strong desires: to return an equal or greater amount to the one who has given, and/or to demonstrate that we are worthy to receive what we have been given.

Recently the Lord has been showing Cora that she has always had a great need to prove her worth to others. For example, as the intercessors have come on Monday nights, she has felt a real need to shown them she is worth praying for so they will continue to come. Most of what has resulted from proving herself all of her life has been a great blessing to others since the Lord has gifted her in so many areas music, writing, speaking, ingenuity, ... But as she has gotten weaker, trying to do these things that make her worthy of receiving something has become too costly. As she lay in bed before the Lord, 1 Peter 5:6 came to mind. "Humble yourself, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time." So that is her current goal to humble herself before the Lord and let Him do the proving! As she does this she knows that any resulting works will be done with a right motive.

My struggle has been similar to Cora's, but more in the area of my work at Wycliffe. Being a missionary that serves in the US rather than overseas seems to automatically hold a stigma of trying to prove the work is worthwhile. Then, leaving my job as director of the computer department when the combined pressures of work and home became too much, seemed to further reduce my general value. These past three years I've had to work at home so I can care for Cora which results in 5 to 6 hour work days. Bottom line my direct contribution to Wycliffe has dropped tremendously.

Yet in this I've sensed the Lord dealing with me about what is truly of value in this life from His perspective versus our perspective which tends to get so tainted with the world's values. I am learning (ever so slowly) to put Cora's needs ahead of my need to prove my worth in this area of work. But that's where the real rub comes in. It is very important for us, as Christ's representatives, to do the best we can with the work He has given us. I am trying to do this as I continue programming in the time available. Yet I truly believe another part of the work God has given me right now is to give Cora the best possible care I can. Please pray for me as I try to balance and sort this out.

And covering all this is the realization that God is the greatest giver of all. He has given us salvation (a gift we often find ourselves trying to
earn or am I the only one?) and He has given you to us as friends and partners. We are so grateful to have you standing with us and holding us up. Oh, how we look forward to the day when we can be blessed by giving and giving and giving to others in Jesus' Name, just as we have received.

The bottom line in all of this is motivation. I pray the Lord will help us to see our true motives in everything we do and show us how to deal with all wrong motivation. May He continually purify our hearts so that, when we stand before Him, we will have crowns to offer Him resulting from good deeds done with pure motives to His honor and glory.

Thanks for listening. May you have a blessed month as you gratefully receive from the Lord and others through the generous provision of Jesus as well as when you give of yourself in Jesus' Name.