Three years ago the Lord provided a very special gift for me in the form of a little blue and yellow fluffball we call "BIRD". She has a given name but "BIRD" suits her because inside her tiny budgie body lives a BIG soul! Everyone who meets her, who is not familiar with birds, can't believe how personable, loving, clever and charming they can be. Because she has always resided by my bedside, she has never gone a day without constant companionship you might say she's a bit spoiled! She begs for food if anyone is eating, knows the sound of the popcorn machine which causes great chirps of anticipation and plays endlessly with her toys, always making sure someone notices and affirms her accomplishments. Though sometimes tiring for me, for the most part she has been a genuine companion, bringing love and laughter to some of my longest and hardest days. Her love, trust and total awareness of us is obvious. She will often plant herself as close as she can, closing her eyes and gently cooing as I whisper her favorite words to her or stretch her body as far as she can off the side of her cage while calling toward the hall if she hears Jenny or Jim in the house.

My bedroom has large sliding glass doors leading to the patio where Jim keeps an assortment of flowering plants, birdfeeders, perches and a birdbath! This has given me much enjoyment as I see often 40 to 50 birds feasting, roosting and enjoying themselves just outside my window. BIRD also enjoys this and has learned most of the outdoor birds' calls which she practices regularly in her chatter sessions. But lately there has been a big disturbance outside. Some small hawks have decided to move in and are creating chaos for our patio friends. I am learning a lot by watching BIRD's response to all of this. If she is seriously engaged in solving some challenge I've set before her or absorbed in interacting with me, she often will not notice the panic and fear on the patio. But usually the noisy mass exodus, sounds of birds fleeing for their lives, causes a tremendous fear reaction in her. Sometimes she'll fly randomly in an effort to escape too and crash or fall to the floor. If she's in her cage, she'll run to the highest perch and stand breathing hard, looking outside in terror. I always speak softly and reassuringly to her and try to distract her, but once the fear has taken hold, it's as if she cannot see or hear me. Her entire being is involved in watching over the perilous situation. She has absolutely no idea she is completely safe and there is no way I can make her believe she really is. Her emotions block out any comfort I try to give her.

One day, several weeks ago, I was having a particularly hard time physically and felt emotionally overloaded. God seemed far away. My circumstances were very threatening and my mind went down a list of the "what ifs" until I bottomed out. As I watched another BIRD panic attack, the Holy Spirit seemed to get my attention and I began to seriously think about what was happening to me, how I was processing it and the perceptions of God that were resulting from it. Boy, were my eyes opened!

I realized I have faced many awful days and yet had strength, peace and confidence when my focus has been on the Lord and His Word. But some attacks seem to sneak up on me and blow me over before I can settle my mind. Once this hopeless, panicky thing takes over, I feel abandoned by God unable to see or hear Him. Could it be that He is there, assuring me and reaching out to me as I do to BIRD, but my emotions have shut down my spiritual eyes and ears? I am convinced this is true. The more I look at what my physical eyes and ears tell me, the worse things get. And fear, depression, etc. are contagious with us just as BIRD panics when she sees the other birds afraid.

The Lord says in Is. 30:15, "In returning to Me and resting in Me you shall be saved; in quietness and confidence shall be your strength. And you would not".
Vs. 18 goes on to tell us, "Therefore the Lord waits... longing to be gracious to you..."and declares that those who wait for, long for and expect His victory, favor, love and peace to be blessed. During those times of soul panic, the Lord waits. He knows we can't hear Him until we return to His rest. We may even hurt ourselves in efforts to escape as BIRD does when she flies and crashes. So, I've wondered how much physical pain is brought on by my emotional state.
Prov. 14:30 says, "A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body." and in Prov. 18:14 we are told, "The strong spirit of a man will sustain him in bodily pain or trouble but a weak and broken spirit, who can raise up or bear?". I am a living example of this just ask my family!

Do you see the sneaky way Satan operates to rob us of trust, peace of mind and bring us out of God's rest and how much harm is done? The trial itself is hard enough but falling for these attacks and living by our physical senses spells devastation that is what makes the trial feel unbearable, appear fruitless and causes us to question God's faithfulness. Psalm 91's long list of protection all hinges on vs. 1 2. They are for "he who dwells in the shelter of the Most High" (vs 1) and the believer whose declaration is, "I will say of the Lord He is my refuge and my fortress my God in whom I trust." (vs 2). What are you saying about the Lord in your time of trouble? We have begun to look seriously at what we're saying to ourselves and each other about the Lord so as not to give the enemy an advantage and let him steal our peace and protection.

David was a man who encouraged his soul in the Lord in the day of trouble
(I Sam. 30:6), commanded it to bless the Lord (Ps. 103:1) and questioned his soul as to why it was downcast exhorting it to "put your hope in God"
(Ps. 42:5). With God's help I have stopped listening to my soul's evaluation of things and asked my family's help in this. For throughout God's Word we are told that the man who trusts the Lord is blessed. "Such a man does not fear bad news or live in dread of what may happen for he is settled in his mind that Jehovah will take care of him. That is why he is not afraid but can calmly face his foes." (Ps. 112:1 8 LB)

Father, may we be a people who trust you, a people who wait for you and do not faint. May our trials which are for the proving of our faith find us being transformed into a people complete and lacking in nothing. May our attitudes please you and give no place for the enemy's lies. May we grow in grace and favor and the knowledge of Your faithfulness and goodness and become a people to whom You can show Your salvation. Amen. God bless you. We love you dearly.