his is our first monthly letter of the new year and we want to welcome several new prayer partners. Our team has grown praise God! As most of you know, several years ago the Lord directed us to make these letters more than prayer/praise reports. They have been intimate sharing of our lives and the working of the Spirit of God in us. They have often come out of deep personal brokenness. We had no idea the depths He would take us or the preciousness of sharing that would be our privilege. It is our prayer that God would use these letters to encourage you even as you bless us through your prayers and gifts.

I'm sure that the war has been heavy on your heart as it has on ours. I've never heard so many different explanations of what it means and what might be coming. But amid all the diversity of thought being expressed, one thing really stands out the time of our Lord's return is very near. I was talking recently to another intercessor who shared that lately she could hardly pray. She found herself just going through the motions because the heart pain was too overwhelming.

Never has there been an age like this where we can see and know the burdens of the whole world. And at the same time God is shaking and refining His church we face many personal trials of faith. The enemy either tries to discourage us so much that we feel hopeless or He tempts us to "go to Egypt" for relief. I have felt a stern warning in my spirit about this. We know what would happen in the physical realm if soldiers put down their weapons to relax and play a few games. But we are also soldiers and it is just as deadly to be without the weapons of our warfare. We cannot just decide to call it quits for a day. The enemy would love to entice us away from prayer and lure us into ways that make us feel better. But the time is urgent and we must be all the more watchful.

So what do we do when spiritual heaviness overtakes us? I'd like to share an insight which has richly blessed me. Although God inhabits our praises, it is our cries that He listens for and answers. The Bible tells us many times that His ear is attentive to our cries. I am not saying we should not praise the Lord, but there are times when prayer is literally a cry our whole being becomes a prayer as the longings of our hearts are beyond verbal expression. This is the work of the Holy Spirit and we must be willing and not run from this because it is God's means of pouring out His mercy, grace, and deliverance on the earth.

We are told to rejoice in the Lord always and give thanks in all things. This does not mean we rejoice because of all things, but in them. I recently discovered what it really means to rejoice in the Lord. It is not saying wonderful words to God about Himself, although that is often an outcome. Rejoicing is the result of real relationship. One day when I was in so much pain and found myself holding back from God, He gave me this mental picture. I imagined my Jenny wounded and in need coming to me and standing for several minutes praising me and telling me how great I am before finally collapsing in my arms and asking for help. If that had really happened I would be so hurt. And so is God when we do that to Him. Sometimes people say "try praise," or some other thing, as though God is someone with certain buttons you have to push to get Him to listen to you. But to rejoice in Him means we know we can come running just as we are and cast ourselves on Him even in brokenness or weeping.
Even with broken hearts we rejoice because we know we have a God Who has given us free access to Himself we can trust Him and tell Him all that burdens us knowing He not only hears but is willing to help us. This honors Him more than saying the "right" words with our lips while holding back our hearts. Sometimes I try to be so strong, don't you? Or else I hide from the very heart pain God wants to use to draw me nearer to Himself. If ever we needed to be real with God it is now. He is waiting to reveal more of His power and love than this needy generation has yet experienced and bring us to a place of genuine heartfelt praise.

I hope this helps you as it did me to lean heavily on God and not run from your personal trials or even the burdens of our needy world but to truly rejoice in your Father's heart towards you. May He be your burden bearer, comfort you, and relieve all your fears as you cry to Him during these times of difficulty. In closing we also pray that God will enable you to "be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer" (Rom. 12:12) We love you and appreciate you and thank you for letting us share these thoughts with you. Thank you also for your continued prayers for us. May our combined prayers further His kingdom purposes for our day.